Thursday, April 18, 2019

Systemizing Success- Niche - Meaning and implications

ü  Why aren't you growing faster
ü  What does it take to get to hyper growth
ü  How do you sustain it

Success can be a system, is not random. Revenue and growth can be mostly predictable. Need to take impossible goals and turn them into inevitable success.

Nail a Niche

You are not ready to grow until you:

ü  Overnight success is a fairy tale - create sustainable systems that creates a predictable pipe line
ü  Makes sales scalable
ü  Double your deal size
ü  Do the time
ü  Embrace employee ownership
ü  Define your destiny


ü  Niche doesn't mean small
ü  If I can't predictably go out and generate leads/ opportunities, where I am needed , win them while doing so profitably, I am going to struggle- meaning there is a niche problem either at company, marketing or at sales person level.

Let’s better understand what niche Implies:

ü  When you are consistently able to find and sign up unaffiliated customers
ü  New customers that don't know you. Get 10 and it starts an avalanche- means that we have something to build on. These 10 gives me the road map, feedback and seduces 1000 more only if we listen to them attentively.
ü  Niche is not thinking small, not limiting your dream or not permanently shrinking your market. It means focused - addressing specific target audience with specific plan.
ü  Hyper growth does not come  from selling many things to markets covering all your bases- it comes  from focussing on where you have the best chance of winning  customers, making them successful, building a reputation of tangible results and growing from there.
ü  It's identifying the path of least resistance to money for you - using our most unique strength that can create the most value.

It means

ü  Solving a specific pain for
ü  An ideal target customer in a
ü  Believable and repeatable way
ü    With predictable methods to find them- interest them.
ü Any initiative to break through the clutter, stand out, be the best or unique is valuable.

K S Ahluwalia
Executive Coach and Mentor-Excalibre

Monday, February 11, 2019

The other side of Love is in the air- Valentine – Relationships- do they last?

Love currently is in the air, all across- the current month having avalanches of day- Rose day, Propose day, Chocolate, Teddy day, Promise day, Kiss day, Hug day, Valentine day- goodness one looses count of what all is there. Yet the feeling is of oneness – caring, sharing, being together, immersing in the company of each other, dissolving, just be and let it be is there.

If that be so, why then do we have differences, heart aches and heart burns? Why don’t I exude the confidence that my valentine would be with me till eternity?

Is my chosen companion the one who is there to support me, evolve me, complete me or it’s just a connect for an event/ time being? Let’s examine the dating, love and marriage syndrome from a different perspective today?

Dating is one such example- an intense, relevant one.  Take a guess at the number of people you might want to go out with. And then narrow down to the top ones. You go out with 10 and politely tell them’ no thanks’ and the search continues. You will keep dating till you find somebody who rocks your world. Out of 100 potential persons, it’s about 90% likely to give you the best of bunch feel.

Now let’s reflect on reality. This isn’t a mathematical equation- your decision is made on ’feel factor’. That’s the way humans are. Many people are attached to the idea of ‘soul mates’-  perfect one, who is forgiving, showers you with kindness, gifts, attention, never forgets to take out the trash, yet if that soul mate exists, what is the likelihood that you will find one?

In a life time1/10,000. People who expect fairy tale romance/relationships are in for an extreme disappointment, than those who don’t. Issue is we are dreaming, not real, are consequently blind to obstacles that life presents to us. Hence we seldom assemble a solid plan for finding and staying with that someone special. When you think you and your partner are’ made for each other’, it’s easy to assume that you need not work on the relationship. And in the era when divorce/separation/ walking away/ break ups is easy, options plentiful, it isn’t surprising that relationship of quitting, is common and rampant.

Researches indicate that love marriages versus arranged, the happiness quotient was 70/91 versus 58/91. Yet in last decade the trend shows that love marriages are languishing at 40/91.


In arranged marriage, one needs to deal with reality, a bit more, from day one. You aren’t saying ’we are soul mates’ and then later on becoming disappointed, when things don’t fan out as dreamt, you start questioning the very basis of fitment.  You need to strive continually to make it work ‘I am handcuffed with a stranger and I need to makes this work’.  I will pursue an extra mile to make it happen while maintaining poise and protecting my self worth.

Dreams aren’t bad, yet we need a little more than that to achieve success at anything, be it relationships/career. One needs to face life challenges head on and not take a back –set or ostrich like approach of head in sand delusion. It may be romantic for lovers to think that they are/were made for each other, but it back fires, when conflicts arise, reality pokes the bubble of perfect unity.
Hence instead of saying’ we are soul mates’. You just might want to step back for a second and reflect:

·         What’s my wish? A perfect marriage. And what will the outcome be? A happy home life with no fighting.
·         And what likely is the obstacle being?  We keep arguing about what to buy at the mall.
·         And what’s the plan?  If we start arguing over which colour of linen to buy, I’m going to listen to what my partner has to say and really consider their opinion.

This approach energizes you to go on a shopping spree with one you love with you being in good shape too. If you feel ever less motivated to work things out with your partner, wells science may have just saved you a few years in a relationship that isn’t going to work. Not only does it tell you when your goals are unrealistic and it might be time to quit.  Hence spending time to walk through this mental exercise would aid you to disengage from the unattainable desire and experience less regret when you put it aside.

Your call now folks

K S Ahluwalia
Executive Coach and Mentor- Excalibre

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Refusing to Express Regret

Expressing regret, apologizing, is a cleansing ritual, like confession in a church. You say ' I'm sorry and you feel better'. That's the theory at least, yet like many things, they are fine theory- yet hard for many of us to do so.

Perhaps we think

a. Apologizing means we have lost a contest- successful people have a practically irrational need to win everything, anything at any cost.
b. Painful to admit we were wrong- we rarely have to apologize for being right.
c. Find it humiliating to seek forgiveness, which suggests subservience.
d. Forces us to cede power or control, factually the opposite is true.

Whatever be the reasons, refusing to apologize causes as much ill will in the work/personal space as any other interpersonal flaw. Just think how bitter you have felt when a friend failed to apologize for hurting you or letting you down. And how long the bitterness festered. If one reflects at his tattered relationships, I suspect many of them began to fray at the precise moment when one of us couldn't summon the emotional intelligence to say' I'm sorry'. 

People who can't apologize at work may be wearing a T shirt that says' I care a damn about you'.

Irony, of course is that all the fears that lead us to resist apologizing, the fear of losing, admitting we are wrong, ceding control, are actually erased by an apology. When I say' I'm sorry', I turn people into allies, even partners.

Remember to gain a friend, let him do you a favour. And if one imbibes this concept, from being successful now, one would be more successful in future.  Apologize face to face - to all whom we have wronged, and be ready to witness a miraculous transformation in them.

Apologizing is one of the most potent and resonant gestures in the human arsenal, almost as powerful as declaration of love. It's " I love you' flipped on its head.  If love means' I care about you and I'm happy about it, then apology means " I hurt you, I regret sincerely'.

Either way, its seductive, irresistible, it irrevocably changes the relationship amongst them, compelling them to move forward into something new and perhaps, wonderful together.

The amusing thing about apologizing is that forces everyone to let go of the past. In effect, one is saying ' I can't change the past; all I can say is that I regret my action/intent, and I will certainly to better in future. There is no excuse I offer and I look forward to your suggestion on how I can improve.

This statement - an admission of guilt, an apology, and a plea for help, is tough for even the most cold hearted amongst us to resist. And when one employs it across spectrum, it has an alchemical effect on how they feel about you and themselves.

I initiate the first step of apologizing, magic happens instantly -most will respond by saying' we can get better together'.  When one declares his dependence on others, usually they reciprocate. And during the course of making me a better person, they inevitably try to become better people themselves. This is how individuals change, how teams improve, how divisions grow, how organizations become world beaters.

I endeavoured this with at least three of my disconnects in the last thirty days - wrote an sincere apology of committing wrong and was amused that two responded instantly, sharing that they felt the same and now together we can create a better relating.

It was easy - very easy - made I lighter in my being, and I was amused that why I was carrying this burden for long. The only thing that stopped me was myself.

One step and it was all over - all smoke vanished and a clear sky was witnessed.

Your call now folks

K S Ahluwalia
Executive Coach and Mentor- Excalibre

Saturday, July 21, 2018

A Declaration Of Deserving…Just Because You’re Here

I’ve been asking around: “What do you think you’re entitled to?” “What do you know that you deserve?”

Holy-loaded questions will get you passionate answers:

·     “I’m not entitled to a damn thing. But I deserve love.”

·     “I don’t deserve anything, everything needs to be earned.

·       I’m entitled to be on the planet, I work for the rest.” “

·      I deserve right pay for right work…a foot rub and to be fanned and fed grapes…no less, no more than another…to be seen, heard, acknowledged…love, respect, fun, and money. Love…Love…Love…”

We’re such hard workers. Hardened, some of us, from working so hard to deserve what we want. Working to earn. Earning more…work. Earning your keep is a vicious cycle, you know.

Whereas, believing in your implicit worth liberates you to create more value for the world you serve.

Of course, people with entitlement issues are…irritating. They want more than they’re willing to give up front. They operate in a fog of hunger and conflicting intentions. Entitled types are frantic below the surface because they don’t trust that they can feed themselves.

What they need is a long hug and then to be sent off for some solo time, without credit cards.

Deserving and worthiness…these are the notions that get to the pulse of our consciousness and esteem.

If you don’t believe you have the right to be here—there will never be enough space for your true self to show up. If you think you need to earn your actual desires, you’re putting miles, years, between you and fulfillment.

So many of us don’t even give ourselves permission to want what we want. This is the great tragedy of a malnourished spirit.

A Declaration of Deserving:

You are worthy of your desires. Really wanting what you want gives you the power to get it. You were born free. The more you try to earn your freedom, the more trapped you become.

You are worthy of love and respect. Lovable.

You deserve

: eye contact

: smiles in the morning

: food made with pure intention

: clean drinking water, fresh air

: Hello, Please, Thank you.

: time to think about it

: a chance to show them what you’re made of

: a second chance

: an education

: health care, including dental

: multiple orgasms

: weekends and the summer off

: eight hours of sleep

: play before work

: to change your mind

: to say no

: to say yes

: to have your deepest needs met

: to be seen

: to be loved for what is seen.

You deserve all this just because you showed up.

Yep, you’re that monumental.

Lets share our learning’s folks
K S Ahluwalia
Executive Coach and Mentor- Excalibre